My Horrendous Mother’s Day Weekend

This past weekend was the second Mother’s Day, I have been through, without my Mom.  My Mother was taken away from me, on July 31st, 2012 by Cancer.  She was diagnosed in May 2012, with stage 4 liver cancer, and was gone, an all too short, 3 months later.  My mother was my world, she was the only good in my life, the only one I truly cared for, and who cared for me just as much in return.  The Mexican Mother’s Day is the day before Mother’s day in the US, so the whole weekend was a constant reminder of the amazing mother that I lost.  It's sad that could not even wish my close friends and family a Happy Mother’s day.  It utterly consumes my thoughts, and I try to flee from this.  Then I had 4 other equally bad occurrences this weekend.

“And no matter what anybody says about grief and about time healing all wounds, the truth is, there are certain sorrows that never fade away until the heart stops beating and the last breath is taken.”

― Tiffanie DeBartolo

To top it all off with the proverbial ‘cherry’, these horrendous events obliterated my will power, and I ate anything I wanted for two whole days.  Never mind the fact that I was to start my first DietBet on Monday.  When I officially weighed in on Sunday, I found that I had gained 3 pounds.  By Monday morning, it was another 2 pound gain.  That makes 5lbs. total in one little bitty weekend.  I had to start my DietBet at a -2lbs.
 

On a happy note, I have survived the weekend, a little stronger for it.  If it weren’t for my Husband and a handful of close friends and family members (that didn’t cause other said occurrences), I don’t know what I would have done.  Also, I will not let this past weekend steal my focus, and now I know for future times.  I will lose the 5 pounds I gained, and I will lose a minimum of my 4% for my DietBet.  I am determined, ready, and nothing will stop me.

-Madeline

My (Slightly Altered Version) LCHF Diet

For those who don't know, or would like to know, I am on a slightly altered version of the LCHF diet. If you haven't tried it yet, or if you are a skeptic, please try it for at least 2 weeks. That's the time it took me to notice a big change in how I felt physically and emotionally.

I have so much more energy, my joints don't constantly hurt, and I no longer consistently feel uncomfortably full/bloated or gassy.  I no longer have to run to Pepto-Bismol, several times a week, due to having nausea, heartburn, indigestion, upset stomach, or diarrhea (sometimes all at once).   Those were symptoms I was unintentionally harming myself with, by my unhealthy eating habits. These changes were just the most drastic. With the new healthier eating, I have also, lost inches and lbs. I am feeling full and content for longer periods of time, and actually keeping within my daily calorie goal.

I personally consider it more of a lifestyle change since I plan to eat this healthy from now on. I have been overweight since I was 8, and coming from a low income family with 4 other siblings, we had to eat cheap. That meant a lot of burgers, pizza, spaghetti, and sandwiches. We are also Hispanic, so add a ton of rice, tortillas, and beans. There was little to no exercise taught or done. My mom was a little protective of us, so when we were allowed to play outside, it was only until the sun started to set. As soon as we heard her whistle (which was heard from two streets away) it was time to run back home! With eating all those carbs and little to no vegetables, for over 18 years, it made it VERY difficult to transition in to a new healthy lifestyle.

I look forward to this new lifestyle and what it has in store for me. I already feel better, emotionally and physically. Can’t wait to feel even better. Glad I will have you all to encourage me along on this quest.

-Madeline

From Depression to Determination

I got on the scale this morning and was elated to have finally reached my first goal weight. I think that this is too good to be true, so I weigh myself again. Down another 2 lbs. in 30 seconds. Immediately, I realize that I have been deceived. For the last couple weeks, I have been weighing myself on a rug, because it’s too cold for me on the bare floor.  This morning I found out that it was a mistake. I completely forgot the most important step on weighing yourself properly; which is to do so on a hard flat surface.  I felt so betrayed and discouraged. I wanted to scream or cry. I came to work feeling like a failure, and tired from an unrelated disruptive sleep.

Two cups of coffee, and a tasteless (due to depression, I’m sure) part of brownie later, I get kicked of my funk. From somewhere, determination springs, and not only will I get back up and start anew, but I will try harder. I enter a #dietbet, sign up for a local 5K, and I purchase my first #fluertyband for the run. That gives me about six and a half months to get in shape enough to run the entire 5K. This is of course after I complete my 4 week diet bet.

As soon as the empowerment came, it ended. I suddenly remember that I can’t even run to my car without having to catch my breath. Walking fast, also makes me breathe hard. The most cardio I can do is 30 minutes steady up and down 3.0-5.0 speed on the elliptical trainer. Looks like I got myself in a pickle. Nevertheless, I will put my big girl panties on (and I do mean BIG girl panties lol) and Git-R-Done! Back to feeling determined :)

On another completely different topic, I went bowling for the first time in over a year.  Two days later, and I am so sore. How out of shape do you have to be, to get sore from bowling? I’ve never heard of it, and I assume that I am one of the lucky few. I cannot regret going bowling, because even though I got sleepy 45 min into bowling, I had a great night with my family. 

-Madeline

My Weekend Cheats

So this past week, I will admit, I had more than one cheat meal. I ate green beans and chicken tenders and a roll (or 3) from chicken express. I also went to The Flying Saucer in Fort Worth and sampled a few appetizers (most were mediocre at best), and then had some frozen yogurt. 

The sad thing was that none of the food was worthy of cheating on my diet, and I gained a pound. I can't even use the excuse of my  insatiable huger, days. Where somewhere inside you, something is roaring 'EAT ALL THE THINGS', all day and night before Aunt Flo comes for her monthly visit.

Nonetheless, I am back on the proverbial horse, and I will work my butt off (literally and figuratively), to lose the weight I gained and more :) 

-Madeline

One Month

I started my 'Quest to Eudemonia' on March 17, 2014.  Thursday marked one month of  being on my diet.

 I'm not sure how I feel about this whole month, I mainly feel relieved. Don't get me wrong, I am happy that I got through the first month.  Just form that sentence alone lets you know it was tough as hell.  I was tempted almost every day. Bad habits sure do die hard, and being over weight for 20+ years made this very difficult. 

My sister, who hadn't seen me since St. Patrick's day (start of diet), said she could tell I lost weight. I went to visit her and my nephews when she just blurted "You lost weight, your belly got flatter" I was surprised it showed since I actually only lost a little over 7 lbs, but a sister will not lie when it comes to something like this :) 

This week I am going to go a little stricter, with my (version of LCHF/Paleo/Atkins) diet.  I am also going to include some light exercise like walking on the treadmill, jogging/walking on the elliptical, stretches, and some weight training. 

Next week, when I get on the scale, I hope I am able to portray this woman's expression.

-Madeline

Game of Thrones Season Premiere, Cheat Meal, and Strawberries.

Tonight was the season 4 premiere of Game of Thrones, and it also happened to be our cheat day, where we watched the rather anticlimactic episode over pizza, and then some pretty tasty strawberries. Ended the show feeling full but not satisfied, and wishing I was the mother of 3 dragons. Back to work tomorrow and to burn off the 4-5 squared slices of super thin crust meaty pizza, that I devoured. 

-Madeline

Late Night Snack Cravings

I was just scrolling down my Facebook page, when I saw a post someone shared. It was about the ingredient carrageenan, and how it's a 'possible carcinogen and digestive problem causing ingredient!', and all I can think of is how much I want a snack! And that one of the things I have been craving is on that list of 'bad' foods, and how much I don't care that it is. Well, since none of the items on the list is in my house, I shall just enjoy some whole raw almonds.  :)

-Madeline