I'm sorry, I'll try to blog more!

I am so sorry for not posting a new blog in nearly 3 months! Life got in the way, I was down most of the holiday season, but I am back! I will make a new post with an update on what has been going on since my last blog post. And by the way, you can follow me on instagram, where I post on a daily basis. But I need to get back to work, so I can blog after. Number 1 reason I stopped posting, no home internet & computer access. Also, thanks for stopping by and reading my ramblings! I will work to make time so that I can write a blog that is above a 6th grade reading level lol!

My decision to get a Fitness Coach

Hey everyone, sorry I have been a little MIA on here for about 5 weeks. I have been very busy with work and at the gym.

Changes at the gym are the result of me needing some accountability in my journey. I need to lose a total of 135 pounds to get to my “goal weight”. By no means am I trying to be a 105 pound girl, with no muscle. I am really overweight and apparently a lot heavier than a lot of people with similar measurements on Instagram. I also don’t want to just eat clean and do cardio. I want to lift weights and build my muscle/burn fat. So I did some research and found a coach on Instagram. Her Instagram name is @loseitconkatie, and she is amazing!!! Her fitness transformation is unbelievable, and she is self-made awesomeness. You have to go on Instagram and see for yourself! I seriously fuckin’ love her and my progress is the shit. My mental and emotional health are also so much better. I am happy like all the time, and I have a lot less bad days. I also love going to the gym now. I walk in ready to fuck shit up and I own every workout. I don’t even care who’s there. It does help that my husband goes with me the 6 days a week we do go. He wishes Katie was his coach, but I told him she’s mine!! HAHA! My food has been great, I am so much better at mentally calculating my food calories/Macros. Not that I am too strict, with all of the HIIT, Weights, and Cardio, and the fact that I eat clean like 95 % of the time allows me to be flexible with my diet ;). Go to my Instagram page @myquesttoeudemonia to see my progress. Also, I got a promotion from admin/researcher to a Delivery Support Coordinator, so I have been working supa dupa hard at work.

-Madeline

About Me

I would just like to say that it has always been difficult for me to fill in the about me section for every social media account, questionnaire, job application, etc.  I don't know why, but when I get asked that in person, on screen, or on paper, I blank or I ask my self "Who am I". So forgive this following message I am trying to disclose.

My name is Madeline and I am 28 years old. I have 3 older brothers, and 4 older sisters. I was raised with 4 siblings that share my mom and dad, and I’m the baby! My dad is an awesome man who is still very much a big part of our (all the siblings I was raised with) lives. My mother was the most humble, hardworking, God fearing woman, I ever had the privilege to be raised by. She passed away July 31st 2012, about 3 months after getting diagnosed with liver cancer. I miss her every second of every day, and losing her still brings me to my knees.

I have been overweight for at least 20 years and obese for at least 15 of those years. The earliest I can remember was when I was in 5th grade and I was wearing a size 10/11. I had to share clothing with my mother since the two older sisters I lived with were in sizes 3 and 5. I wore glasses, I was overweight, quiet, and introverted, so of course I hated every year of school. Kids were so mean (not particularly to me, just in general) and to make matters worse, I already had anxiety issues. Even though it was tough at times, I somehow got through it year after year.

Fast forward to November 2013. I married my other half, and thought I could die of happiness. That was until spring 2014. When I finally SAW myself in the mirror, and actually looked at the number on the scale. I couldn't believe what I did to myself for 20+ years! How could I let things spiral out of control for so long. True, I was an unhappy person most of my life, I have been through a lot from something bad happen to me when I was a kid, to fighting anxiety and depression, to suddenly losing my Mother.

I decided enough was enough, no more letting the past have anything to do with my future! I decided to change my lifestyle and become mentally, emotionally, and physically fit and healthy. In a few years I want to have kids, and I want to be there for them for as long as I can, and to be able to always play/keep up with them while they grow up. I want to be the woman I think My Love deserves to have. I want to be the best version of myself I can be, for MYSELF! This is My Quest to Eudemonia.

Slowly but Surely?

I have been stuck at this current weight for over 2 and a half weeks. To make matters worse, this past week I wasn’t even reaching my calorie goals! I was under an average of 200 calories a day because I just can’t eat enough in the evenings, and since I am most hungry while at the office, that is where I eat the majority of my daily allotted calories. I have worked so hard these past 3 plus months! It took years of false starts, and months of trial and error before finding (re finding actually) what worked for me. In June, back at my highest weight (32 pounds ago), I started my Healthy Vegetarian Lifestyle.

I eat mostly fresh fruits, fresh vegetables, veggie patties, dairy, and eggs. I will have a slice of bread, rice, bran cereal, a tortilla, or corn chips every few days. When money is tight, I will have a small frozen meal, but I still abide by an 80/20 rule. I work out at home or at the gym 3 times a week, and I use MFP to count my calories. I have dropped weight and clothing sizes. All of the clothes that were tight when starting my journey are now too loose to wear. Stuff that didn’t go over my hips now zip up and fit nicely. I am down 32 pounds, I went from a 22/24 (I was busting out of 22 but only had the heart to buy a couple 24’s) to a 19/20, and from a 3x to a 1x/2x (1x blouses and 2x non dressy tops). I don’t know why I get so impatient.

Three weeks ago I even deactivated my personal Facebook and Instagram Pages, just to eliminate any more distractions from my weight loss journey. It was getting annoying too. People whine so much and don’t do anything to change what they’re whining about. I have fallen completely in love with my instagram #fitfam I look forward to seeing everyone’s journey, every day. It helps me keep myself accountable, it encourages me, and it keeps me entertained and focused. It’s just awesome to know that there are other people out there in the real world going through the same thing. I guess I need to take my own advice and keep my eye on the prize.

-Madeline

Summertime Happiness

The second weekend in August I left for my first vacation in three years. I was beyond excited to go! The late night drive was so hard and I couldn’t last 2 hours. Fail. However, I did manage to drive the returning 12 hours (all by myself). We went to Florida and stayed at this beautiful condo off of Navarre Beach. The water was a perfect clear blue-green, and I got a nice little tan. It was so relaxing and just too short! We had fun learning to boogie surf the waves. It was so liberating and exciting. My favorite thing had to be sitting on the beach with my Sugar, fingers entwined, toes in the sand, watching the sun set.

That's my sugar!

That's the view from the balcony

My cousin caught an awesome sunset picture, the last night there.

 I was busy enjoying it with My Love!

The only casualty was that I broke my 24 oz. turquoise/teal tumbler with straw, which I use to drink water at work. Good news is I found a 26 oz. eco one Mason ‘tumbler’ at Marshalls for like $6! I love it, I have already had 100 oz. and it’s not even 3 PM! I ate the best I could with the budget that I had. I cooked/made around 75% of my meals, mostly sandwiches (cheese avocado alfalfa sprout, peanut butter and jelly, and egg and cheese, sandwiches) had some snacks, fruit, desserts, one beer, and one glass of wine. Most of my snacks were not ‘healthy’ but I watched my portions, and kept close to my calories limit. I weight myself the next morning and I actually lost 2 pounds!

I am now down a total of 30 pounds! Loving the No Scale Victories almost as much as the descending numbers on the scale. I am in the process of making a workout routine that I can do at home as well as in the gym. I just need to find some workouts that are doable for me right now. My knees are terrible, I have weak wrists & ankles, I am not flexible in the least, and I have hardly any upper body strength. I got my work cut out for me!

-Madeline

Busy Weekend, Yet Successful

This weekend was my brother’s birthday, cousin’s wedding, and my sister’s baby shower (#4). I had to get dressed and show up to all events with family and friends. I thought it would be boring and that I would feel self-conscious about how I looked in my skirt and dress. I actually had a good time at all events after getting over the initial anxiety of being around a lot of people. Just so you all know, I am like 87 % an introvert.  I got a few compliments on how nice I looked, especially from the family members that haven’t seen me since my own wedding in November. I danced to The Beatles with My Love and had a few drinks at the wedding ;).

I ate as healthy as I could at all events. I did eat a slice of cake at each event, but only because it was made by the best, My Dad. Did I mention he is a pastry chef? Yes sir, he is at Whole Food currently, but he has worked for La Madeleine, Central Market and at then Dallas Whole Foods Warehouse before it closed down. I had a little more carbs at the wedding because the main dish was not vegetarian. But I had mostly fruits and veggies at the other parties. Overall I would say this busy weekend was a win, compared to how much I failed the previous holiday celebrations.

-Madeline

When Shopping Becomes Fun Again

I went to the store on my lunch break today.  Normally, I like to just window shop, because being overweight can make it hard to find clothes, in none plus size stores.  Today I stopped by Ross, since it’s close to work, and decided to try on some transition slacks.  I grabbed a couple of sizes 18 and 20, of the same brand, and tried them all on.  To my surprise, they all fit!  One size 20 was actually too loose.  I also found a couple shirts in the same style but different colors.  Very affordable, I spent less on 4 items than I would have on one item at Lane Bryant or Torrid.

What also spurred this decision to go shopping, was that this past weekend, as I was packing to move, I tried on all of my  old size 20’s, which I still had saved for when I lost weight again.  They all fit, and only 2 of the 6 did not feel comfortable enough to sit in, and happened to be the least elastic of them.  I was ecstatic! To have this proof that my hard work is paying off, makes it all worth it.  To know that these clothes haven’t fit in almost 2 years, and then putting them on and zipping them up without struggle is an amazing feeling.

Now, to keep it up and get into these other, nice gentler used, size 18 jeans. 

This was supposed to be on the last blog First Mini Goal Reached

-Madeline